I think for your second story in English you have done rather well. I only have problems with the lack of descriptive words, or should I say more exciting detail and words containing more than 2 syllables. Overall it's pretty good and I am gratefull that you shared this work of art. I know how hard it can be to publish. All of your faults in this chapter are balanced out with your willingness to share and open up. Thank you for the story. I will add it to my favorites.
Thank you for your review. I have to say that english is not my native language, but i try to improve me. I'm very glad you liked it.